The Genesis of Success - Being Secure

I strongly believe that before you see success, you have to believe in your ability to accomplish that which you deem successful. Having faith in your abilities starts with being secure. When you are sure of your worth and value, success is inevitable. What does it mean to be secure vs. insecure to you?

My definition,

as found on this lovely t-shirt available at shopcartiayreshay.com #shamelessplug states:

Certain of self-worth and purpose; unshaken by life’s disturbances; free from fear or anxiety. Confident and assured that she can do anything. 

The secure woman knows that she has value. She is grounded. Life brings plenty of uncertainty and blows, but the secure woman (although sometimes difficult) pushes past internal and external struggles like a boss. She may have insecure moments, but she pulls it together quickly to live out her calling.  

I developed the SECURE athleisure line before Issa Rae's hit show insecure launched on HBO, but after hearing so much about the series, I had to watch it. This show has some of the most amazing writing and storytelling, so I can't wait for season three! In the show, Issa Dee (Issa Rae) struggles to navigate the tricky professional and personal terrain of Los Angeles along with her best friend Molly (Yvonne Orji). insecure chronicles their journeys and made me think about how being secure plays a major role in life, relationships, work, and overall success. 

YOU MIGHT BE INSECURE IF: 

• You knowingly tolerate disrespect and allow it to continue.
• You smother others out of fear that something will go wrong. Security trusts, believes, and isn’t fretting about what may or may not happen. 
• You engage in negative self-speak. Affirmations (think Ryan Pierce in the Girls Trip movie) are a sure way to help you calm down in the moment, regain your focus, and celebrate who and whose you are. 

YOU’RE NOT INSECURE IF: 

• You want your mate to be your #1 fan. I had a conversation with a friend in a new relationship who was concerned because her partner did not compliment her, hardly ever. Whether you're Beyonce or not, your partner needs to think you're bomb and that nobody can do it better than you. All women want that, and it doesn't make you insecure. 
• You speak up about what you want and don't want. Women know. We have this innate thing that tells us when a chick is a little too interested (hoe-dar), or if the energy is off with a friend. Feeling others' wrong motives, speaking up, or adjusting accordingly doesn't make you insecure. 
• You have an off moment. We are human. We make mistakes, we fail and we fall. Having a down moment or unconfident day doesn't make you insecure as a whole. Staying there does. 

So what do you think? What makes a person secure or insecure? 

What Relocating Taught Me about Comfort Zones

STL > HTX

My transition to H-town and back

Moving from my St. Louis base to the great state of Texas, and back taught me a few things. Relocation showed me areas of my life where I was too comfortable, and shined light on the following truths: 

1. You will discover who the convenient relationships are in your life. This isn't a bad thing, but I learned that some relationships existed primarily because of proximity. For example we would see each other at work each day or each week at church, therefore the relationship continued. But when proximity is removed from a relationship some people that you think you're close to can easily become an afterthought. Relationship are intentional, and I've learned (and am still working at) making sure that the people I want in my life know that they're an asset there. 

2. You are you no matter where you are. There is no magical city that will automatically catapult you further into your dreams. Do new opportunities exist when you leave your comfort zone? Absolutely! But, there is no magic city where you'll automatically excel. In my opinion, you push your own dreams to reality, no matter where you are. 

3. Change of scenery is nice. When we moved to Houston, we discovered culture outside of what we knew. It was refreshing to be around so many young professionals who were driven and willing to collaborate. Back home, we noticed that complacency and the crab-in-a-bucket mentality was commonplace. I've grown to believe that when you position yourself the right way, you'll attract the right people. 

4. There are less distractions. Birthdays, family outings, and constant events celebrating everyone that you know are out of the picture when you relocate. This allows more time for you to be able to focus on your goals and dreams, and execute. While I was in Houston, I had time to grow my business, gain new clients, and launch a brand new business. There will always be obstacles, namely ourselves, but when distractions are removed you have a clear path to achieve that much more. 

5. You'll need to build your own tribe from scratch. Finding a new everything can be tough. I did research on instagram to find a new hair stylist, a dope nail salon, attended the best church (Grace Garden Oaks), and found a dope friend/business bestie at the gym. 

6. Isolation isn't healthy. Community is necessary. During the early months of my journey to Houston, I was a bit of a hermit. I worked from home, didn't have a church to attend yet, and stayed pretty isolated. This was not healthy! After about a year things were finally moving, and I learned that community is necessary. There are so many lives that you can touch, and that can touch you if you're open and willing. 

7. Raising a child away from family is tough. Which is the ultimate reason that we came back, for curious minds who want to know. I'm not saying that we'll stay in St. Louis forever, but it'll always be home. I love my city and the people in it, even if St. Louis is the most dangerous city in the U.S. I'm excited for the impact that we're about to make.  

#RightThurr #HustleCity 

What about you? Have you ever re-located? If so, what did you learn?

Nixing the Imposter Syndrome

Who has ever talked themselves out of an opportunity because you didn't feel like you were ready yet? *Raises hand*

Girl. The truth is ... you'll never be fully ready. Doing and often times failing are the best teachers. The imposter syndrome is defined as the inability to internalize personal accomplishments and having a persistent fear of being exposed as a "fraud."

It's time to own our brilliance. You hear me? OWN IT! The key is to leap over your fear with FAITH and know that if you fall, you will fall forward - knowing more, understanding more, and having grown. 

Stop with the who am I to do this? Quit comparing yourself to others in your desired field.  Why not you? Who are you not to walk in your purpose, share your expertise, grow your brand, be profitable, and live your best life?! 

The internet is full of people faking till they make it. I'm not a fan and don't advocate for that. But, I do advocate for being true to yourself, being content with your place, and shining where you are. I believe that you can bless others with what you have, right now, where you are. 

So pray this prayer with me. 

“Dear Lord,
Help me to see myself the way that you see me. Invigorate my mind with your plans and dreams for me. Help me to honor you with everything that I do and to work diligently with the time that you’ve alloted for me. Use me to help others, and bless me to be fruitful and content with all that you have provided.”

— In Jesus' name, Amen.